Once, back in college, I decided to be an honest person. I guess I should say, more honest person. I don’t always lie, but I had noted just how common and socially accepted it was and is to lie. Actually, “socially accepted” is incorrect. “Socially expected” is a much better phrase. For a whole day or so in college, I made a promise to myself not to lie; not about anything, no white lies, nothing.
I realized just how hard it is to maintain relationships this way. When asked a question, I would tell the truth as best as I could. It would often piss people off, and they would treat me as if I had some sort of autism, or social disorder. “Who the fuck are you?” or “You’re such an asshole” they would generally reply. As an antagonist, it was funny to be apart of. But, when the experiment was over, I became aware of how it had effected my relationships. People distanced themselves from me. Isn’t lying supposed to be a bad trait? Aren’t you supposed to seek out friends who are honest, good, virtuous people: People who make us better?
The isolation that resulted from this experiment hurt a lot, and it made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t offering any unsolicited truths, I only answered as honestly as I could. I didn’t present any subjectivity as objectivity. So, why was this so bad?
This is interesting to me. It seems that lying is not only accepted, but expected in maintaining a friendship. It also says a lot about what people expect when they say something or ask a question. They must simply be projecting and have an idea of the answer they want to hear. In the end, I learned that lying is a necessity and is important.
So, now I lie….often. “Want to be my friend? You look like you are awesome! And, you might just be the best looking person in this room. :)”
Tell me what you think. I would love to hear some comments, both good and bad.